I know I am not perfect with my short temper and short hair. I am clueless on how they see me, how they respect me and how they describe me as a person, but one thing is for sure, whatever it is that they have in mind, I know them and I love them simply because they test me and repair my imperfections. But this is not for me, this is for them, through them you would learn life’s unspoken lessons.
I do believe that people get irritated when they tend to be out of control, I myself get irritated with them as well. They love to play, they love to shout, they love to hurt each other, and they love the glory of their youth. They are immatures to its literal sense but they are the ones who remind me that I am responsible to think for them, I am the one in duty, I am the one who is matured. They unlocked me to the cage of immaturity, to the phase where I should face responsibility upon them, for I believe even though I am not that responsible, they see me as one.
They are the ones who would cry in the middle of the morning because I pinched their noses, because I spanked their butts, but no matter how you hurt them, they would automatically forgive you and admit to you that it was their fault. They are the innocents who strongly shout at me and say, “YUPING BULOK!!!” that I tend to be so angry and slap the spoon right into their faces, revealing a red mark on them. Then suddenly I would regret what I’ve done and prepare ice to ease their pain. They are the ones who are scared to go upstairs alone because they strongly believe in ghosts. They want to go to church with me but I simply disagree because I see them too loud and noisy. They are happiest when you give them ice cream sundae from Mcdo. They are my young Vincents who would proudly show to me their art works and tell me how good they are, that is the time that you have to compliment their works. They are so stubborn that you tend to shout at them but later on they would make you laugh because they would dance in front of you. They are the ones who would spill their milks on the table while they tease you watching “Secret Garden” since it is so corny for them. They are the ones who would not be ashamed of you once they release green jokes, too young to do that, but yes they do that. They are the ones who would test your patience at its best. But no matter how they would make me so angry, I love them and I should love them, because if I would not, that is the time that I’ve given up on them. They are my blood, the immature drops of my blood. So if I would give up on them I have given up to my own blood.
Everyday to me is a challenge. They ask endless questions. They are pampered with luxurious toys… PSP, PS3… but never P.S. I love you. They are in thirst with a mother’s love, with a father’s hug, with a perfectly complete family picture. I hate it when they ask me things that I can not answer. It is as if I am in a game show and their playing tricks on me again, but those questions are not tricks and I am not in a game show, thus they are not playing on me. They are victims of complication. It makes me shout, “My boys do not deserve that!” They just want attention, they want full attention which I know I can not give even I would stir thousand mugs of milk, even if I would give them thousands of hugs at night. I am not the perfect puzzle piece for the missing piece in their puzzling family picture.
I see myself as blessed, blessed because I am obligated to be with them, because I am the witness for those things that makes one so proud. Simple things that make my heart grow fonder on everyday that I am with them. They are the ones who would recite to you the shapes that you taught them for three nights straight. They are the ones who would tell you to wake up and have breakfast because you have to teach them once again. They are the ones who would make you smile once they recite their full names. They are the ones who would laugh because they read the word ‘mysterious’ on their own. They are the ones who make funny sentences once you teach them new words. They are the ones who would reveal to you that you have a worth because you taught them something new everyday. They are the ones who would tell you that no day is to be of waste simply because you are with them.
This summer I was not even at the peak of drowning at the beach… I am drowning by the breath that I hear every night, by the warmth of their hugs before they sleep… I am drowning with their innocent and eccentric portrayal of love. I am drowning because of them and the moment I gasp for air I learnt what patience and trust really meant. I was drowned by the sight of their innocence…and the sight of life’s unspoken lessons through those picture perfect memories with my little boys.
P.S. They are not angels but they are not that extremely bad. Let’s just say they are just too young to understand the word behave once you tell them to.
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Sa aking mga paboritong pamangkin,
I know you would understand what Tita have written when it’s the right time and you know how to master the English language. I love you both and please behave and study hard for me, for us, for Lola, for everybody… remember that you are my lucky charms. Still I see you both as lucky charms though I scold you frequently… just believe me boys… I do love you. Haha.
Love lots, Tita eka.
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